New progress photos...

I just had Andrew take photos again- excuse the quality of them, but they are taken with my phone.

I will put up a copy of the collage from Jan 2010, and then put the one from today with it. (In both lots, I am wearing the same singlet top)
The weight difference in the photos is 17.5kg

Went and lay-byed some good training shoes from Athlete's Foot today so when I start up at the gym in a couple of weeks I will have some proper shoes.

A bit of a catch up

Today was my week 20 weigh-in...the scales showed a loss of 300grams, which I am quite happy with.
I have literally spent the last 4 days in bed with bronchitis. I have never felt so yuck and short of breath before. Even walking around the house or talking for too long is enough to trigger a coughing fit. So to lose 300 grams when I haven't been moving, or tracking, or drinking water is pretty good.

I have joined a gym. I go in for my assessment and program on the 18th of next month- I need to get better before starting at the gym.
I'm actually looking forward to it... my membership not only covers a program being written up for me, access to the equipment but also unlimited classes, so I will really be able to get a variety of exercise in. The one thing I really like about this gym is no wall to wall mirrors. I love that!! I don't need to be staring into a mirror watching my fat arse wobbling like no tomorrow, and my body glowing bright red- so no wall to wall mirrors is a huge plus!!!
The whole atmosphere of the gym seems very ... comfortable I guess would be the word. There is no loud over the top music blaring- so I need to work on my mp3 play list... it's really hard to put into words the atmosphere- but I didn't feel like I was being judged and I didn't feel out of place there.

I'm missing work... I haven't been in the salon at all this week, hopefully tomorrow I'll be feeling human enough to go in- and I have really missed it. I've really been enjoying work the last few weeks, have been getting busier and it's driving me crazy being at home, not only because I have no-one to talk to- but because I feel like I am letting down my clients and my workmates by not being there.

I've really been missing my mum these last couple of weeks- and when I talk about my mum I am actually referring to my step-mum. We have this amazing relationship... we might not talk all the time, but I know that she is always there when I need her (and always has been). Over the years she has become not only my mum, but also a woman that I proudly include as one of my best friends. There has never been nothing that I couldn't talk to her about, she has always been there giving me support and guidance when I needed it. There have been times in my life when I really don't know what I would have done, or where I would be if it hadn't been for her- times when she has been the one person in my life who has pulled me aside (or taken me for a sundae in a car park) and really made me take a good honest look at my life and the situation I was in, and then supported me while I did whatever I needed to do to get my life back on track.

Anyway, my stomach is growling so I'm going to go make some breakfast...
Have a great week :)

20kgs lost- but do I deserve it?

After being really excited last week that I was only 200grams short of having lost 20kgs, I kinda slipped off the wagon.


I have had chocolate, pizza, maccas and not enough water since Friday and all without tracking any points :(

So come weigh-in this morning I found I had lost my 200grams I needed to reach 20kg lost, but I don't feel like I deserve it at all.

I am really disappointed in myself. I know I was using the excuse that I am due for my period this week for wanting junk food, but really when I search deep inside of me I am scared about losing weight.

I am now slightly smaller than I was when I got married 6 years ago (tried on my wedding dress last Friday night and it fits better now than it did on the day) and I guess that triggered my slide into high calorie and high fat food.

I scared about how my body is changing... I have gone lumpy- ok I was always big but my skin was firm, now it's getting lots of dimples and is starting to "hang". I'm scared that if I don't find me attractive then how will my husband? I don't even know how he ever did.

urgh... hope everyone is having a better day than I am

Bella

Week 17 weigh-in!

Just a quick entry to let you all know the results of weigh-in this morning.... 1.6kg lost this week, which brings my total to 19.1 in 17 weeks :)
Long day at work today, so I better get organised...
Hope everyone has an awesome day.

Bella

Long time ... no post....sorry

Whoops sorry for not posting recently... will try and catch you up on what has been happening.

I haven't tracked for 2 weeks, so tomorrow's weigh in shall be interesting. I only lost 100grams last week, and am expecting much the same this week.
The not tracking thing has been a real test- at first I was only doing a week to see how much I had learned during the previous 15 weeks. Then that first weekend (ANZAC long weekend) I had an impromptu trip to Sydney to see my friends and my mum. A weekend that resulted in way too much takeaway and a few wines. So when I lost 100 grams I was very happy.
So then I decided to see how I would go at home under normal circumstances to see if I could survive without tracking... tomorrow shall reveal how I went.

I have been so busy at work... so many things have changed and while it's all going good for now it is still all up in the air regarding my actual position in the salon.
Previously I was renting a space to do my nails in.... the salon was then sold, and the new owners are fantastic (as was the old owner who still works there). So now with the changes that have happened, I am no longer paying rent, and am now doing the waxing for the salon (going 50/50) as the hairdresser who use to do the waxing has moved on. Somehow in all the changes I have lost my day off during the week, and have been working 6 days a week. Which is a great way to increase my incidental exercise...lol.

I have yet another cold... I seem to just get over one, have a couple of days of feeling good and get another one. I literally fell asleep on the lounge before 7.30 last night, and have been resting in bed this afternoon since I came home (actually came home a couple of hours early as I had no clients and was feeling like crap). Thankfully Andrew is on holidays this week, and he has been doing all of the dinner cooking and organising the kids for me.

My weekend away was absolutely fantastic and no where near long enough. I finally got to meet my dearest friend Melissa's baby- Kaizen was born on New Years Eve and I hadn't had a chance to get to Sydney to meet her. She is absolutely adorable and made it so hard to come home...and I can't wait to see her grow into the beautiful little girl she is (although not too quickly..lol)
I got to see my 2 godsons...and their Dad (my other best friend Eric) as well as his partner Michelle and her daughter Lilly (this little girl has the most adorable sausage curls).
I also got to have lunch with my Mum. I really miss my mum and don't catch up with her anywhere as near as much as I would like to. She was also the first person to comment (without prompting) on my weightloss :)

Well my cold and flu medication is kicking in and I am getting sleepy, so will leave this until my weigh-in tomorrow.

Bella